Hey, my friend! Let me tell you a little secret: when you’re a 5th-grade teacher, the most important lesson isn’t always math or reading—although those are super important. The real magic happens when you build relationships with your students. Yep, it’s true! Forget mastering fractions for a second—getting to know your students is the ultimate key to a successful year.
Let me paint you a picture.
So, day one at school, I’m standing at the door like a Walmart greeter on caffeine. Every kid that walked in got a smile, a fist bump, or, if they were still half-asleep, a very energetic “Good morning! I’m Mr. Hiles, and yes, I had coffee today, can you tell?” Some of them smiled, some gave me the “this guy is crazy” look, but you know what? That’s the start—breaking the ice.
Now, you might be thinking, “That’s cute and all, but why does that matter?” Well, relationships aren’t built in a day, kind of like trying to eat an entire pizza by yourself (which I may or may not have attempted in college). They’re a series of little moments that say, “Hey, I see you. I know you. I care.”
Here’s an example. One of my students, we’ll call her Emily, was the quiet one. The kind that could probably turn invisible if you didn’t pay attention. She had this interest in animals—rabbits, specifically. So, one day, during morning work, I casually asked, “Emily, do you think rabbits would make good classroom pets, or would they stage a rebellion and take over?” Boom! She lit up like a Christmas tree. From then on, rabbits became our running joke. Emily started participating more, raising her hand, and even smiling! All because I took a minute to know her world. Building relationships isn’t rocket science—it’s rabbit science!
And it’s not just with the quiet kids. Take Justin—my class comedian. Every teacher knows a “Justin,” right? He could turn a spelling test into stand-up comedy. Instead of shutting him down, I gave him a five-minute window at the end of the day to tell jokes, under one condition: they had to be school-appropriate. He loved it! And guess what? Justin started focusing more during lessons because he knew his spotlight moment was coming. Humor is one of the best bridges you can build between you and your students—trust me on that.
But here’s where it really clicked for me. One afternoon, I asked my students to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up. Some wrote “doctor,” others “YouTuber,” (that’s a real career now, apparently), but one student wrote, “I want to be happy.” That hit me. It reminded me that these kids need someone in their corner, rooting for them—not just as students, but as little humans with big dreams and even bigger emotions.
So, here’s my message to any teacher, new or seasoned: take the time to build relationships with your students. It doesn’t take a grand gesture. Sometimes it’s as simple as noticing the way they doodle cats in the margins of their notebooks or acknowledging their love of TikTok dances (even if you still don’t get how it works). Relationships are the glue that holds the classroom together. And let me tell you, a classroom stuck together by relationships? That’s the kind of classroom where kids feel safe, respected, and ready to learn.
